How to stop giving yourself to someone who doesn’t want you
Why do we always fall for this trap of being unacknowledged?
Is this inherent in our survival mechanisms of proving ourselves to be a fit member of our species to the chief of the Tribe? Is this something that grants us a psychological survival and continuity? Is this our Ego or our Soul that is searching for the solution to deep Cosmic issues of unrequitedness that can be solved only through making that specific person see your inner Light?
Sometimes we say to ourselves that someday we will make it better and that the way we are being perceived by the people rejecting us is just flawed, but sometimes we get into the situation of being and seeing only the worst version of ourselves and dwell into unending shadow loops of unending trauma resolution when in fact the answer is more simple than that: the people who do not want us are being reactive to us and their human aspect is available to someone else. Why someone is just a REACTION and not a person anymore with regards to us? We can find so many reasons and indeed a lot of times we find ourselves to blame only to hope that we can fix it more. We would and do let the people who don’t want us rule over us and we would own anything in this world only to be given a crumble of their awareness and a bit of empathy.
But the reality is that we will never receive them simply because they are not present in their self, their body translates only a reaction, a taught psychological response to us, deep within the whole situation can be decoded as “You’ve consumed this interaction and you will receive only a robotic rejection no matter your strategy”. The person is absent. You will only hit a wall of social constraint, stereotype and projections cast upon you. Simply because you are not allowed, not seen, firewalled, buffered, not impressible enough and not impressing that person enough.
The more you can buffer a person who doesn’t want you and the more you can impress them, i.e. the more Soul Energy you can pour into them the more they will accept you, but the question is: Do you want to be accepted by someone who only wants to receive everything and not give anything to you? Who only pin points to how flawed you are? To how mistaken you are?
Sometimes you give your Soul to someone only to be cast away with the Police, out of their life for good, sometimes they get triggered only by some words of love, but they make you guilty for being abusive and you end up being even considered nuts. Sometimes your best friend leads you into considering yourself the most ugly person in the world, simply because she doesn’t want to give her attention to you anymore, and maybe you just want a few kind words but she makes it appear that you ask the world of her, and maybe it’s your mom and dad whom you search for protection but they say “no more” and make it appear as it being your problem.
Why do all the people whom we search for with our Soul make this thing be a problem? Make us be the culprit? Are we as guilty as they make it appear to be? Surely not. But the thing is that we cannot probe the validity of their choice to abandon us simply because we haven’t proven the validity of our affection for them either. They haven’t allowed us to validate our yearning. At the same time, they have stolen from us our own Self ownership and partnership, and now we are being derived only from being someone’s unwanted person. And we attract more people who don’t want us.
This momentum of people who don’t want us can be easily surpassed by re-partnering with ourselves and truly validate our innocence again. Ultimately, if the entire society considers us an unwanted person, that doesn’t guarantee that they are right. A thing doesn’t become true if it’s accepted by the majority. Truth and democracy aren’t the same thing. Although, a lot of people might react to the hive mind and they do by a gut feeling. The more people reject us, the more they reject us, by inspiration and unseen mind waves, they decode the fact that we are rejectable. And we react to that by trying to please them from the get go, which makes them reject us, which makes us react, which makes them right to reject us, and so on and so forth.
Simply decoding the initial rejection point in our life doesn’t guarantee that the cycle will end, but realizing our true worth and what people have stolen from us, worth, freedom and innocence, we can set another momentum and we can at least have hope for betterment.
As social ostracization and rejection is becoming more and more prevalent in our society, simply owning our preferences with regards to people isn’t a desirable behavior as accepting everyone isn’t either. But take note that “people selectiveness” and “reserving your right to cut off people from your life whom are toxic” is as a social meme and an egotistical behavior as the people rejecting you and that sometimes infatuating yourself that “they don’t deserve you” if they don’t want you is actually their subconscious infatuation and disturbance of being wanted by someone lower than them, just the other side of the coin. We want out of the coin for good. We want the true key for exiting the situation of being held lower by people who are afraid to lose something if they accept you just as much as you are afraid to lose yourself if you give up on them. Everyone is afraid of losing something and no one is fully integrated here. Let’s assume for the sake of the argument that they are afraid of losing their status and that you are afraid of losing yourself and that ultimately any situation of unrequitedness and being rejected by the people that you crave, want, love, is a situation of conflict between status and Self.
The more you become your Status, the more they are afraid. The more you are your Self the more they reject you. And this reflects the inner struggle between being a Self and being a persona. The more you will be your true Self, and this is what you need to uncover and realize what this truly means for you, the more you will encounter these situations of being undervalued and ostracized, potentially scapegoated, less and less.